


Saving Harry

by thehalfboodprincess



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Manipulative Dumbledore, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 03:02:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1535141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehalfboodprincess/pseuds/thehalfboodprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus stops Harry from jumping off the astronomy tower at the end of his sixth year. He then attempts to find out why the boy wonder would want to do such a thing. Harry just tries to figure out why it sounds so good when the professor calls him Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saving Harry

"Later Hedwig!" yelled Harry, looking over his shoulder. The one movement that led him to run straight into Professor Snape.

"Perhaps it would be prudent if you learn to walk, or better yet watch where you are going, Potter." drawled Snape.

"Right.. Sorry sir. Um.. See you in class.." and that was it. He walked away from the owlery, just another normal day for the golden boy.

Hedwig perked up again as she saw the professor make his way in. He had been secretly coming to see her for weeks now, trying to gain her trust so she would alert him to any troubles the Potter brat may be having. If it had proved therapeutic to discuss some of his own problems to the snowy owl, then so be it. Nobody was the wiser, after all. 

It was only some three weeks later when the secret meetings with one feathered beast had proved useful.   
A small pecking noise was heard on the doors of his personal chambers. A silent incantation later and the doors were swinging open, allowing the avian messenger to present herself. The moment the potions master noticed exactly whose owl was entering, he bolted up. Tossing on the nearest robes and running out the door.

The fact that Hedwig was there, only meant one thing to Severus. Potter was in danger. In danger and needing help fast. He followed her through the dead castle halls, her flight graceful despite the small space and immediate danger. Severus knew his dark mark had not burned that night, so was unsure what had caused such panic with Hedwig. He was certain that the dark lord would have told him any Potter plans. As they raced their way through the castle, as the Astronomy tower grew closer, his heart was racing at the thought of what it could mean. Could the boy wonder really be contemplating death, and so close to the end of the term?

As he drew ever near, his mind analyzed all he knew of the boy. Potter was just two days from finishing his sixth year. Things had been rough, but the Order was in full planning mode to save one master of Severus Snape and do away with the other for good. Harry knew of the plan, maybe not all of the details, but he knew Albus would make it. That Severus had only pretended to kill him and that he would be hiding out in the secret order house at this very moment. He knew that while they wanted Harry to cast the final blow to fulfill the prophecy, the full order was behind him and would be helping him every step of the way. Albus had made sure of that in destroying Naigini, the final Horcrux, just moments before his 'death.' So what could get the boy wonder so distraught he was thinking of pitching himself off the tower? After all, if he was just thinking, Hedwig would not have alerted him. 

Luckily, the boy was nearly in sight and he could find out himself. The last two steps before turning to spot his target seemed to stop time. The sight of Potter with more of his feet off the ledge then on seemed to speed it up double. He grabbed the boy by the loops of his muggle jeans and pulled him to the ground. Quickly throwing himself over, using his hand to pin Potter to the ground. Feeling the boy just sag against him, all fight gone, the professor let go and spoke.

"Sorry for pulling you so rough to the ground. As such, I was trying to prevent from spooking you straight over the edge. Merlin knows your balance is awful. Are you alright, Potter, anything hurt? Besides your head, obviously?"

Nothing, not an eye bat, not a single biting retort.

"Shoot. I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt you and then insult you. Can't you say something? Just let me know you are alright. Or that you will not run and toss yourself off if I move. Please, Harry?"

"You.. You called me Harry."

"Bloody hell! You were about to pitch yourself off this damned tower and all you care about is I called you Harry? Shit, what is going on in that thick head of yours?"

"Things are fucked, professor." 

"Nothing new, Harry. Especially for you. What is it, really? What made you want to give it all up just days before term ends. I seriously doubt my potions exam was that hard. And I know you are not worried about your last exam, you could pass defense in your sleep. So what gives?"

"You called me Harry.. Again. That’s what.. Three times now? Merlin, maybe I should do this more often, it sounds strange coming from you. I um, sorry.. That was. I mean a good strange. Ah fuck, that was inappropriate. Um.. I'll just go toss myself off the ledge now."

"Like hell you will. HARRY. Now, do I need to tie you to this floor or can you promise to stay with the land of the living for a while more?"

"No jumping tonight. Got it. Promise."

"Enough. Now, why were you up here?"

"Why are you up here?"

"Your blasted bird.. Now stop trying to change the subject. I will not hesitate to get veritiserum!"

"Hedwig? I knew it! I thought I saw you in there with her the other day. Shite, you've got her spying on me don’t you? Well, thanks I guess. I mean, I wish I had jumped. But thanks.. It um, it means a lot."

"Right. Smart bird. Now would you please just tell me why you are up here. My legs are far too old to be sitting here much longer."

"Eh, it wont do much good. You can go back to your dungeons now. Promised not to jump tonight anyway remember?"

"That does it! Up. NOW!" After a minute of no movement, Snape took things into his own hands. A quick apparation later and they were in his personal chambers, the brat looking confusedly around from his spot on the sofa. 

"I thought we couldn't apperate in the castle?"

"Perks of being a double agent. Have to apperate back in sometimes after the.. Rougher.. Meetings."

"You mean after getting tortured by that sick fuck." It wasn’t a question. He had seen the visions from Voldemort. He knew. "Why do you stay? I mean.. Why do you do it at all? Surely you could go into hiding or something? Pick a side?"

"I do it for your sorry butt. Now please, tell me why the thing I have tried to protect all these years has just tried to leap off these walls?"

"You're not going to give this up are you?"

"Ah, so you are catching on after all. No, Harry, I will not be 'giving this up.' And I will not hesitate to tie you down if you get any more dumb ideas. So talk.. now."

"I can do wandless, and wordless magic you know. I could just break whatever you tie me with. I tried casting an AK on myself, before I jumped. It worked.. But.. Well, I don’t know. I think I must've had part of HIM in side of me.. It.. I um.. It’s hard to explain, but it was like I could see myself lying on the floor of the tower. But there was someone else there, sort of floating around me. Just bobbing around. It cried a little, I think it was hissing. But then it fell, Sort of just dried off and dropped then just disappeared. I don’t know what happened next, it was like I fell back into my body. A gasp or two later and I was back laying there on the cold stone. Cant even kill myself proper.. I really am a freak."

"Have you told anyone of this Potter. Harry. Have you?!"

"No, sir. You are the first to see me.."

"Never. NEVER talk of this to ANYONE but me. Not even Albus. Got it? Good. Now listen close. I am not supposed to tell you this, so I am only saying it once. Alb..Headmaster Dumbledore had a theory. He knew of the horcruxes, but he thought there may be one more. Made the night your parents were killed. He thought that you were one too. It explains the mind connection, the parseltongue, a few things that were more than coincidence. He never told you because he needed you to stay alive for the prophecy. This is why the news of horcruxes had to be kept a secret. Few people really know what they are and even fewer know that you could possibly be one. The headmaster confided in me this theory and forced me to promise that I would tell you when the time was right. Tell you that you needed to die. Harry, he has been manipulating you for a while, but this was truly the last straw. That was when I went to Hedwig. I was afraid the old coot would try something on you. The prophecy was fulfilled when you killed him the first time, anything that happens now.. Well, it doesn’t really matter. He only wanted to use you to kill him because he wanted you killed instead, to take care of the final horcrux. He never thought you could do it Harry, I am so sorry. But it doesn’t matter now, okay? You arent one anymore. I am so, so sorry it happened this way. But.. Well, I'm glad it did. I couldn’t bare to see what the dark lord had in mind. Do you understand what I've just told you?"

"I was a horcrux. Dumbledore knew. He wanted me to get killed. No life altering information or anything. Not weird at all that the only person telling me this is the git of a professor that despises me."

"Nice to hear you some what joking again. Even if it is as my expense. And about that, I, well, think about how it would look to the dark lord if I acted kind toward you. He would probably have killed me ages ago just for saying good morning. So I.. well I don’t really hate you. I mean, its hard to see beyond the whole annoying, James, egotystical.."

"Good grief! No need to continue, I get it! I suck, but you were pretending to hate me. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t really hate you either. I um, actually liked you a lot before, was kind of obsessed really, when you were just 'the half-blood prince'"

"Sorry, you're right. And I'm going to ignore that last bit, you are barking mad. You aren't really those other things though are you Harry? You really are more like Lily. Especially your.."

"My eyes, yeah I know."

"No, I was going to say your personality. There's a weird little spark that she always had.. And you, I see it in you sometimes. A little knack for kindness and pure goodness. Probably what kept you alive in the first place.."

"Dumbledore said it was love that kept me alive."

"Dumbledore is an old crock full of lies and deceit."

"So much new information tonight, but I must say, I did not see that coming. I thought he was good, like a grandfather or something.."

"Yeah, full of surprises tonight is. Most I am fully intending to ignore. The one I refuse to ignore though, and the one you are so adamant about skipping, is why you were nearly off the tower not too long ago and why you A-Ked yourself!?"

"Damn, thought we could skip this. Fine. Fine. I'll tell you, okay? You just have to promise.. Promise not to laugh or tell anyone or whatever? And promise to stay mean and snarky to me, sometimes I think you're the only one who treats me normal and I need that sometimes.."

"Fine.. No laughing, no telling, staying a git. Got it. Now what could make the little hero want to kill himself?"

"I.. Didn’t want to go back. To my aunt and uncles. I just, hell, I can't face another day of them let alone a whole summer. Hermione and Ron know a little, not much, but they don’t really get it. I've no one to talk to. Everyone thinks I am some perfect kid, perfect life. And it is so far from the truth. I am just so sick of trying to act like it is true though. I hate the attention. I want to just be normal! Not some living target. Not some hero. Just normal! Not a freak! I want to like girls, maybe kiss a few people. Be part of a family, hell, maybe even have a family of my own. Be an accountant or something plain. Have people forget my name sometimes, or at least not know who I am just from a damned scar! I don’t deserve to be famous! I should've died with my parents! Maybe then all these other people wouldn’t have died too. Maybe then HE would've stayed dead. I don’t want my future planned for me! I don’t even want to be an auror! I want friends who like me for me and don’t fight every five minutes. I want the truth and to not feel like some circus sideshow act. I don’t know.. Its just a lot of stuff. I don’t even know all of it right now. Right now though, I just know that I can not go back there."

"Back where?" it came out as almost a whisper.. 

"The Dursleys.."

"Wait.. Lily's family? You are staying with.. Merlin, Harry. No wonder you don't want to go back! Had I known.. I always assumed you were with some foster family. Dumbledore never said.. He would've mentioned.. He must've known.. Shit shit shit. Harry, listen to me now. No matter what it takes, you are never going back there. I messed up once with your mother and I am going to fix that now. Do you hear me? Never again."

"You… you know them?"

"Bet your little ass I do! He must've know.. That bastard. To have kept this a secret.. Why I outta.. He needs to pay for this.."

"Severus! You are raving mad! Calm down.. It's alright. Okay? As long as I don’t have to go back.. I don’t really care anymore. Really, its done and over. Let it be. Nothing we can do about it anyway. And unless you have some brilliant plan from keeping me here over the summer, it looks like there's nothing we can do about going back either."

"That's it! You must stay here this summer. It must be a secret! If the dark lord knew he would want me to kill you. If Albus knew he would want to manipulate you even more. No, it must be a secret. Your friends, do they expect to see you over summer, or write, anything like that?"

"No, they were staying at the burrow. Probably going to make their own little love nest and forget I exist within the first week.."

"Perfect. Sorry. Okay. Listen, you are going to go as normal. Get on the train, do all that. But at the platform, I'm going to get you instead of the Dursley's."

"But..how? I mean, I am sure Vernon will love not having to deal with me over summer, I can just tell him I have summer classes or something, but wont people recognize me?"

"As much as I hate to say this, I think I should go polyjuiced as Vernon. I could meet up with him before he gets to the platform, take some hairs and modify his memory."

"Wait.. I um, I think I may have some of his hairs. I have some of his old clothes. His and my cousins. You could just send them a letter.."

"Do I want to ask?"

"No.. No I don’t think so."

"Right then. I'll send the letter in the morning. In the mean time, you should get some sleep. You still have another exam and I still have classes to teach."

"Sure, since nothing is on my mind, it should be a simple job.."

"Take this. Dreamless sleep. Now shut up and go to bed. Good night Harry, we can talk more tomorrow."

 

The following day went as close to normal as it possibly could've. Especially considering he woke up on the sofa of a professor he previously thought despised him, and the things learned were refusing to go far from his mind. The idea of jumping still seemed decent to Harry, but was slowly looking less doable, at least knowing he had support now. Knowing he would not have to see the Dursley's this summer was almost enough to make him smile. After his final exam, Harry's head was threatening to explode. Instead of feeling relief after finishing his exams, his mind was overcome with thought. What he wouldn’t give for a test to take his mind of things! 

As if sensing his frustrations, Hedwig came hooting into the dinner table with a small envelope. Noticing the familiar writing, he kept the letter to himself, something surprisingly easy around his love sick friends lately. Seeing it was a request from Snape to meet in his office in just fifteen minutes, Harry finished his meal. Without even a glance from his friends, he was making his way to the dungeons. 

"Nice you see you are still among us."

"Nice to see you are still wearing the same black robes as… every day ever."

"Great comeback Potter. Though, I will have you know, I own plenty of robes."

"Fine, prove it!"

"I don’t have to prove anything to you, Potter."

"What happened to Harry? Did you just growl? Sorry, sorry, I'll go.."

"Not off that bloody tower you won't. Sorry Harry, old habits and all that. I'm so used to reacting in anger so I don’t react in.. Something else."

"Not sure I follow. But okay, whatever you say."

"Merlin you are dim sometimes."

"Gee, thanks. I think you are just trying to make me forget that you only have one robe. And that since you are currently wearing said robe, your closet with thus be empty."

"Did you just say thus? Merlin save us all."

"Distracting, much?"

"Fine. You want to see the bloody closet. Come." Deadpanned Severus, pushing Harry in the direction of his closeted robes. Realizing only too late that said closet also meant moving to the bedroom. His mind suddenly come back to him as he realized Harry had frozen at the door and Severus had run into the boy. His chest now flush against the back of the dark haired teen.

"I.. I am sorry, this is.. I should go." Sputtered Harry, red slowly climbing from his neck to cheeks.

"No bother. The closet is just there." Pointing ever slightly to his left, he felt the boy shudder in front of them, their contact still remaining. 

"Right. Closet. Robes.."

"This is the part where you move, make your way to the thing you were so desperate to see. Perhaps try not to feel too defeated when I rub it in your face that I was, as always, right."

"Move. Desperate. Rubbing.. Right."

"Potter? Shite, Harry. Merlin what you do to me." He growled once more, barely a whisper. Pulling the boy closer to him still before pushing him the mere three feet to his four poster bed. The boy falling backwards as his knees hit the mattress behind him. The light in his eyes shining louder than any words.

"Harry, if you want me to stop, now is the time to say something." Severus growled

"You just growled again. I like it when you growl."

With out a word, the potions master maneuvered Harry the remaining way onto the bed. His hands and hips effectively pinning the boy beneath him.

"We shouldn’t be doing this" Said Severus, his voice low and soft, as the two could do nothing more than stare at the other, frozen.

"Apparently we have to spend the whole summer, cooped up together, it might be nice if we actually liked one another." Said Harry, broken and hardly above a whisper himself, but a string of words none the less. Even if it was clear he was trying to make excuses for whatever was about to happen to continue.

"This seems to count as more than just like.."

"So we cross a line. But don’t you think there is a reason it sounds so good when you say my name." Harry ranted, his voice stronger now. "And maybe why I had the only real crush I've ever had was on a man I had never met from a strangers book. Even when I found out it was you, the thing that sucked the most was that I would never have a chance at love. Because it was you. And you hate me. And now you probably think I am as big a freak as theyyy say I am. Whatever, I get it, I'll leave. I can just go to Privit drive this summer. Maybe I'll use my wand the first week and get tossed in Azkaban."

"Harry. Harry! Woah. First, we are going to talk about this freak stuff later, all of it. The stuff you said last night too. But right now let me assure you I do not now or have I ever thought you were a freak. I hated myself for not hating you. If anything I thought I was the freak for being attracted to the obvious power and brilliance that I see in you." Said Severus, shifting to a more relaxed position but staying atop the boy. 

"The fact that you see anything good at all in me is a little baffling to be honest."

"This whole evening is a lot baffling."

"Couldn’t have said it better myself professor." said Harry, finally a smile making it's way to the boys eyes.

"Severus, call me Severus."

"Sev-er-us. Hmm, yeah I could get used to this. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I will just call you master instead. Maybe I like the idea of…"

"Harry…"

"No really, I like where this is going.." 

"I see the wheels in your head spinning. Do tell me what is going through that thick skull of yours."

"Well I was thinking.. I've always wanted to learn about um, some rougher stuff. Maybe you could teach me this summer. I could call you master and be your secret little pet."

"My.. Oh. That escalated quickly. Are you drunk? Potions? Muggle drugs?"

"No. no.. Nothing like that. I just, I like you."

"As was established. Now, what on earth is possessing you to say something like…that."

"I.. Okay, look. We established I've been manipulated. And lied to. And probably a whole slew of other crummy stuff. I thought I was doing the right thing and was just trying to make everyone happy. And I think, in your own way, you were the same. I like you, and I think you like me too. So I think that right now I just want to make us happy. I think we deserve as much."

"While a nice little speech, I don’t want to be anyone's 'right now.'"

"Fine, then be my summer now. Maybe more?"

"..more?"

"More. Now are you going to kiss me or not? I've been hard since you pulled me down off that tower."

"We are still going to have a chat about that. But yes, I would like to kiss you if that…"

His words were cut short by the very thing they spoke of. Lips met in a ferocity that only years of tension could have created. The evening progressed rapidly, and quickly blended into the start of the summer of both their dreams.

 

……..  
A few weeks into their summer found the two men wrapped in an embrace that had become more than familiar. Only the house elves were aware of Harry's presence in the castle, leaving plenty of time for.. Extracurricular activities. When the two were together, it was as if nothing else mattered. For that summer, they agreed that the only thing that mattered was one another. A sentiment only broken for a couple hours of training in the afternoons. For the mornings were theirs to sleep away. The evenings to learn a whole new kind of lesson.

Harry had been a quick study, surprising even himself at how little punishment he needed. For Severus to control the boy was like the world had been painted gold. They had settled into fast routine and it seemed, a perfect one. All thoughts and discussions of suicide had been resolved. Things for the both men were pure bliss.

Wrapped in one another's limbs, perfectly content, Harry found Severus soon waking. 

"What is that awful light, my pet? And why are you awake before me?" Mumbled Severus, pulling the covers over his head and rolling over.

"I um.. Will you just sit up a sec?"

A silent protest was made but the man still sat up. His eyes slowly adjusting to the light in the room.  
"Oh, Harry, it's lovely. Did you do this?" He said, stunned. The little brat had charmed his dungeon wall to look like the outdoors. The sun was rising and charmed view over the lake was breathtaking.

"I um.. I thought you would like it. Worth it to hear you say the word lovely!" He chucked. "I wanted to do something special for you. After all you are doing all this for me. And well, um, you know, Sirius, oh come on don’t make that face! I know! But, he told me once.. Told me that those that love us, they never really leave us. I always thought that meant that well, the people that die.. They hold a place in our hearts, you know? They don’t really leave, they are always sort of watching over us. That sort of thing.. But I um, I am starting to think maybe it means more. Like, the people that love us, like really love us, they aren't going to leave. Freak, burned food, spilt potions, it doesn’t matter what happens- they are sticking around. They might not like us at the time. But they are not going anywhere. That true love is sticking around through thick and thin, not everyone is crummy abandoners. You know?"

"Despite that mess of ramblings, I do think I understand what you mean Harry. I think I would even have to agree. Neither of us have had the best people in our lives. And, just to let you know, I don’t plan to leave you. So.. "

"So you looooveee me?"

"Don’t push it." 

"Fine. But, you know I love you right?" 

"And you know I, you. And anyone who doesn’t would be a right idiot and they can just sod off."

"I.. I think I am speechless. A declaration of love and a swear in one sentence. Goodness…"

"Be quiet and kiss me already." 

The summer continued, the war was won, and if a certain savior accidentally called a certain professor 'master' in public, at least he could cover it with a stumbled 'potions master. I meant potions master.' Even if it meant a blush that would last until the wee hours of the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> harry and his world belongs to jkrowling. No money made, just fun. If you would like to write more to this story, add more, prequel it, or whatever else; feel free, just send me the link because I'd love to read it :) also, obviously not beta'd or anything, so i truly hope the grammar and such is all set and apologize for any mistakes. any comments, feedback, criticism, etc. is greatly appreciated :)


End file.
